LJ Dharma [TM]
Okay...this is complicated. There follows an indirect ragbag of a post, on which I prolly won't wish to expand further (though, you know me, I'm always willing if I gotta). Nobody asked me to post this; I'm doing it me ownself (hence, thankfully, have only myself to blame).
A lurker friend of mine asks whether I recently posted elsewhere under another name, and whether he could see copies of my (nonexistent) "locked posts" in a current controversy. For the record, and on my honor:(1) I use only this LJ account, and never post under any other name (including "anonymous") on LJ*, period; and
(2) While I understand why people use filters on their pages, I have never done so, and don't intend to start: everything I post here is visible for all to see. Oh, and finally,
(3) I tend to avoid other people's controversies, and am not tryna get involved** in one now.
All human communication has both rational and emotional aspects, in varying degrees. As a general thing, the heavier the emotional content of an issue, the greater the tendency for the communication itself to go to hell...one reason it's usually fairly pointless to argue, say, religion or politics. I, personally, post
here about religion (all the time) and politics (occasionally), but I think it's usually a mistake to argue
about them -- if only because, as Crowley (there's that name again!) noted, there's no right or wrong in matters of opinion. Factual issues can (at least theoretically) be resolved; emotional ones?, novogganway.
Of course, people often reveal themselves the most during emotional arguments. If somebody displays contempt for you during an emotional argument, it was always there...they just finally let it show. Sometimes, that's how the universe lets you know who your actual friends are. As my last post should have indicated, I have an irrational prejudice in favor of people displaying respect even for their enemies, let alone friends; and (for that matter) a corresponding irrational loathing for bullies (i.e., those who pick on someone not their own size). But, hey, that's just me, and I am a great believer that people tend to work things out without my interference.
OTOH, I try never to forget the awesome power of apology. If I intend to frost someone's hinder (as I very rarely do), that's one thing; if I don't intend to, or even didn't intend to so much as I have, I turn to one of my favorite spells: a heartfelt "I'm so sorry." Y'know, just like every other grown-up on earth does.
Finally -- and this is the hardest part -- it is always disappointing to have to revise one's estimation of somebody downward: to have liked and admired somebody, friend or stranger, and then have those feelings diminished. But that's reality, too, right?...a preference for which (so I flatter myself!) is my greatest irrational prejudice of all. :)
93 93/93 -- AJ
* In fact, other than a few posts as "Jonathan" some eight years ago, "A.J. Rose" is the only way I ever post anyplace. Reduces online complications, believe me.
** Well...maybe a little. I still have that reflexive Sixties thing about trying to compose disputes among people I respect, when possible. Sad, isn't it? :(