Better Late than Never ;)
A while back, aprillynn93
asked in her journal about what exactly "attainment" is supposed to be, anyway. In looking up another quote in Gems from The Equinox
I happened to trip across these familiar passages from "One Star in Sight" -- which, positively and negatively, do a great job of answering that question, IMO. The whole essay provides a better explanation, of course, but in brief:
(1) "The essential Attainment is the perfect annihilation of that personality which limits and oppresses his true self."
(2) "Should he fail, by will or weakness, to make his self-annihilation absolute, he is none the less thrust forth into the Abyss; but instead of being received and reconstructed in the Third Order, as a Babe in the womb of our Lady Babalon, under the Night of Pan, to grow up to be Himself wholly and truly as He was not previously, he remains in the Abyss, secreting his elements round his Ego as if isolated from the Universe, and becomes what is called a 'Black Brother.' Such a being is gradually disintegrated from lack of nourishment and the slow but certain action of the attraction of the rest of the Universe, despite his now desperate efforts to insulate and protect himself, and to aggrandize himself by predatory practices...."
-- Aleister Crowley, "One Star in Sight"
Can't much improve on that! :)
The point is not, of course, to annihilate "you," but rather the ugly little cartoon you (we) learn to think of as "you" (us): that self-contradictory little animal which cycles depressingly between moments of rapturous self-worship and abject panic. Initiation -- indeed most any "spiritual" training -- tends to make this process a good deal more melodramatic, alas, and make the cycles themselves increasingly swift; hence the strong language in quotation (2) above, which isn't meant to refer to the general run of humans (though I can think of some folks in the news these days it rather fits ;) ).
Anyway, hope this helps! :D
93 93/93 -- AJ