BEAVIS OF ARABIA!
"I think that guy in boot camp, umm, lied to us. He said, you know, when we got to Baghdad there'd be chicks and stuff."
"Well, so far all there's been is like Buzzcut, you know, yelling at us."
"PRIVATE BEAVIS! PRIVATE BUTT-HEAD! This is Army Reserve Sergeant Buzzcut telling you to TENNNN-HUT!"
("See what I mean?")
"Gentlemen, and I use the term very loosely, I have been here in this godforsaken hellhole for two years now, and I am in a piss-poor mood so LISTEN UP! We are out on patrol tonight! It is now my responsibility to instruct you ladies in how to avoid attacks by an improvised explosive device!"
"Huh huh uh huh huh."
"Yeah, heh heh mm heh. He said 'device.' Hey, is that coffee?"
"Private Beavis! Where are -- dammit! Private Butt-Head, where is he going?!"
"I, uhh, I think he's thirsty."
"I oughtta -- ! There you are! Where did you -- wait a minnit. Why are you dressed like that?!"
"Arrrrglbrrrgldr I AM CORNHOLIO! I MUST HAVE CRAPPUCINO FOR MY BUNGHOLE!"
"Private Beavi -- HEY!"
"THE STREETS SHALL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE UNBELIEVERS!"
("Settle down, Beavis!")
"I AM THE MADHI! I MUST FREE MY PEOPLE'S BUNGHOLES! Do you have some teepee for my bunghole, infidel?"
"Do -- I -- WHAAAAAT...?"
And don't miss, in 2007 -- BEAVIS GETS A SECTION EIGHT!
"Private Beavis, you don't expect us to take this multiple personality claim seriou -- Oh, my God! Stop him!"
"I, uhh, warned you, dudes."
"I AM CORNHOLIO! I MUST OBTAIN A DEFERMENT FOR MY BUNGHOLE!"
And finally, in 2008...! CORNHOLIO FOR PRESIDENT!
"It's amazing he got elected, Brian, despite what all the pundits said -- especially considering how the debates went. In fact, all the exit polls got it completely wrong. Again!"
"We think it must have been that Dada-Surrealist- Discordian vote, Jane."
"I AM CORNHOLIO! I HAVE ALTERED THE VOTING MACHINES FOR MY BUNGHOLE! WE SHALL HAVE CAMPS FOR THE UNBELIEVERS!"
"Uh huh huh uhh huh. Can I, like, be Chief Juss-tice?"
93 93/93 -- AJ