"A.J. Rose" (Jonathan) (ajrose93) wrote,
"A.J. Rose" (Jonathan)

Phil Farber on New Year's Resolutions


N.B. Hereabouts begins crunch year for Unca AJ -- Nightmare Village is running late, and right behind it is the new two-projects-at-once schedule. Owtch. I'll be staying on LJ, but prolly doing a lot more reading (and occasional comments) than writing, at least compared to what you've had to wade through (or, okay, scroll past) of late. ;)

In honor of the vulgar new year, a piece by my good friend Phil Farber: New York Times bestselling author* and magician who wrote FutureRitual, and whose wonderful seminars, tapes, you name it, can be snagged here:


Finally, as some of you know, I'm not a hypnosis fan; but the advice is still excellent, and anyway, while he's a certified hypnotherapist Phil's definition of "hypnotism" is rather broader than most.

Enjoy! :D

93 93/93 -- AJ

* Co-author on a seriously bigdeal mainstreamy reference book, some years back. Now he gets to do COOL stuff instead. ;)


Five Reasons New Year's Resolutions Fail
by Philip H. Farber

1) They are usually phrased as a negative... without providing any kind of actual choice. For instance - "I resolve to stop smoking," "I resolve to stop drinking," "I resolve to stop eating like a pig." What can you do in place of these habits? Positively framed, these might read: "I resolve to learn how to relax through meditation," "I resolve to learn how to have more confidence in social situations," (relaxation and bolstering confidence being possible motivations to smoke or drink) or "I resolve to develop healthy eating habits."

2) They are all goal, no technique - Simply stating a goal, whether positively or negatively phrased, has little effect unless there is some technique to incorporate that suggestion into your behavior. Where's the ritual? Where's the induction? (Possible techniques: hypnosis, self-hypnosis, ritual magick, NLP techniques, etc.)

3) They are all goal, no methodology - Even with a great goal and excellent technique, some methodology has to be devised. HOW are you going to stop smoking? HOW are you going to get fit? What are the steps involved in these changes? (Going "cold turkey"... changing specific habits one at a time, tapering off the sweets, etc.)

4) Lack of real motivation - What is driving this new behavior? Are you doing it to please another person or because you fully believe it will be a positive change in your life?

5) Goal is based on conditioned behavior or whim - Similar to #4, but on broader scale (or rather, a contributing factor to #4). Was this decision to change based on a cultural pressure of some kind? To look like a movie star? Because all your friends are doing it? Because advertising convinced you it was necessary? What's really important to YOU?


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